Southern Sojourn

Going down to Springfield!

I went to Springfield today, visiting the city for only the second time this year. I've been so tied down to a strict drug rehab schedule that I simply haven't been able to put together enough free hours in a row to make it worth visiting the city of my birth! Today I took the bus there, with the usual holdover at Veteran's Park in Holyoke. There I unexpectedly ran into Amber, a friend of mine from rehab.

The patients in rehab were divided into three groups. The largest consisted of street folk from the so called urban culture. Drugs are as much a part of their lives as sunshine or air. The second group were people that can't be described as being in any category, they're so blown out on drugs they've lost any real sense of their own identity and have just turned weird. The third group was people like Amber and me, Grateful Dead sort of stoners. We were the smallest group but we stuck together, flower children among burnouts and gangstas, and Amber was a great help to me at times, listening to me and consoling me when I was confused and unhappy and going through withdrawal. She ended up getting thrown out of rehab for fighting with a nurse. I never knew what became of her, and it was great to see her today looking healthy and happy. I took her picture:



Then she took mine:



As you might imagine, being in Springfield for only the second time this year I had a lot of errands to attend to. However, I did take the time to stop in for a few minutes at the Springfield Control Board meeting this morning. City Hall is always a trip!



I climbed the antique spiral staircase to the mahogany chambers where the Control Board meetings are held.



There Board Chairman Chris Gabrielli was presiding over a dull economic development discussion.



The two local officials on the board are Mayor Dom Sarno and City Councilor Bud Williams.



Here's a video scan of the proceedings if you're curious to see who was in the audience.



Later I was by the new federal courthouse, which is almost completed. Notice the two ancient trees in front. The whole building was designed to accommodate those trees, believed to be among the oldest in the city.



At the beginning of construction in 2003 I took this picture of local historian Greg Metzadakis posing by one of the old trees on the otherwise cleared lot.



Here is the exact same tree as it appeared this morning.



One thing I haven't been able to do since my Dad died in December is to go and visit his grave in Saint Michael's cemetery in ol' Pine Point. Saint Rose is the name of the cemetery lane he is buried on.



I was surprised to realize that he was just recently buried!



I had forgotten that here in New England, where the ground in winter is ice-hard, they often wait until spring to bury those, like my Dad, who died in the dead of winter. I also saw that the year of death has not been put next to my father's name. He had his birth year and name put on the stone about ten years ago, leaving the year of his departure to be filled in.



I had to leave the cemetery earlier than I wanted to because a terrible thunderstorm came up. It rained the whole bus ride back, but when I got to UMass the rain stopped and the sun came shining through, creating a beautiful rainbow.



A rainbow reminds us of God's promise that after something bad must come something good.

Drilled by Screwy

Ten Questions

One of the most subversive groups in the Valley operates out of Hampshire College in Amherst - The Society for the Creative Realization of a Weirder You or as it is lovingly known SCREWY. They are responsible for some wonderful local pranks such as this video about zombies invading downtown Amherst. Where would zombies invading Amherst go in search of brains to eat? To Food for Thought Books, of course!



I was contacted by SCREWY early this semester with a list of ten questions that they wanted me to answer and email back to them. My answers were supposed to run in a newsletter, or the school paper or some such place. It wasn't exactly clear where. Anyway I never heard from them again so I don't know whether it was released anywhere or not. Now Hampshire is closed for the summer, but I still have a copy of what they asked me and what I replied, so for what it's worth:

Ten Questions from SCREWY

Question One: Tell us something about yourself that most people don't know.

That's a hard one because I live so much of my life in public and I don't have many secrets. I guess not many people know that I was born at home, rather than in the hospital. I was delivered by my father. It was in Robinson Gardens, one of the toughest projects in Springfield. My mother was in labor for all of about ten minutes! I guess I just couldn't wait to make the scene.

Question Two: What do you feel most guilty about?

I ripped a tag off a mattress once. No, honestly I would have to say that I feel bad about all the people I scared when I almost died of drug abuse last year. That wasn't cool.

Question Three: List three things you would do if you were dictator of the United States.

1. Abolish the income tax - the best way to keep the government from getting into mischief is to take away the money!
2. Abolish the death penalty - no government should have the power to kill its own citizens, no matter what they've done wrong.
3. Abolish the no-nudity laws.

Question Four: Who do you think is the worst person in America?

Whoever invented American Idol. The second is that character Good ol' Tom in those gold commercials. Don't tell me he doesn't know that more than half his business comes from addicts.



Question Five: What do you think is the worst thing about living in the Pioneer Valley?

The long winters. The snow sure is beautiful, but it's best enjoyed through a window.

Question Six: Tell us the one thing people most associate you with?

I'd like to say writing, or computers or photography, but it's probably cocksucking. No matter what else you do in life, if people find out you sucked one dick you'll always be called a cocksucker. It ain't fair, but it's true.

Question Seven: What do you feel most proud of?

I'm pretty fearless. I'm not afraid to do what I think is right even if there are high risks. Like today everyone talks about people like Frankie Keough and the Asselins and all the Springfield crooks as if they were always regarded that way, but for a long time they were considered the pillars of the community. I was attacking them when they were at the the height of their power, when it was really difficult and dangerous to do so.

Question Eight: What would you do if you were dictator of your town?

Well I'm living in Northampton at the moment, but I intend to return to Amherst and I'm originally from Springfield, so for all three towns I would put Paolo Mastrangelo in charge of Hamp, Larry Kelly in charge of Amherst and Charlie Ryan back in charge in Springfield. That way I could relax because I'm a lazy dictator.

Question Nine: Who do you think is the best person in America?

The mailman. He brings my welfare check.

Question Ten: What do you like best about living in the Pioneer Valley?

The changing seasons. I'd be bored living in an area with a steady climate - and the autumns in New England are heaven on Earth. Plus I like all the weird people. Our Valley is a paradise for weirdness.

Now let me leave you with Lord Russ of Aloha Steamtrain singing in a Northampton kitchen.



A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches
as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the
day we met." She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear
up.

The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we
started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16," he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in
my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to
prison for 20 years?'

"I remember that, too," she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have
gotten out today."

Come Again

A special guest.

Everyday at the Amherst Survival Center we get people for lunch from every walk of life. Today we had a very special guest to serve, State Senator Stan Rosenberg!



He was there to have lunch and to check out what the taxpayers are getting for their money. As he inspected our kitchen he seemed very impressed.



The Senator was very nice to the staff and seemed genuinely interested in the operation of the Center.



When it came time for the guests to be served their meal, the Senator joined them but insisted on being served last. His humble manner I think impressed everyone. I was one of the workers serving him.



Usually I'm more inclined to bash politicians than feed them, but I welcome every opportunity God gives me to learn humility. It was good to have a Senator in the house for lunch, and so we say to him what we do to everyone who eats at the Center:

"Come again."

In the Amherst Big Y this morning while waiting at the checkout counter I noticed that presidential hopeful Barack Obama is starting to make the tabloids. I laughed to see this front page headline: Obama Betrays Oprah - His Shocking Snub.



That's odd, I didn't read about that anywhere else! How did the New York Times miss that story? Accompanying the article was this photo meant to suggest how Oprah is responding to being snubbed.



The online version of the tabloid had this to say:

PRESIDENTIAL hopeful Barack Obama has betrayed Oprah Winfrey, his No. 1 celebrity supporter, telling her he no longer needs her backing in his bid to win the White House, reveal sources. Only GLOBE has the inside story of the rift between the talk show queen bee and the presidential wannabe. Sources tell us the shocking reason Obama's people have told Oprah to back off from the campaign.

To find out the shocking reason, you have to subscribe. Oh well, I'll just wait for the mainstream media to catch up with this story so that I can be shocked for free. In the meantime, Obama shouldn't be too upset that the supermarket tabloids are starting to make up stuff about him. Those papers are sometimes an odd but reliable bellweather of the national mood. For example, one of the few harbingers that the Republicans were going to take over Congress in the 1990's was when the tabloids started writing about Newt Gingrich.



A fan sends along this photo of Fright Night's Stephen Geoffreys signing autographs last month. I'm told he's been refusing to answer fans questions about his porn career. That's odd, because his porn films were really hot! However, I also hear that his porn career may have had more to do with a serious drug habit than gay pride.



Finally, let me leave you with something romantic.

Media Mirror

Towards holographic coverage.

Here's a New Media essay I wrote four years ago that I recently came across. It has several points that still hold up today.



For the last few months I've been listening to the news on WFCR (88.5 on your FM dial) every morning while getting dressed or whatever. It comes out of UMass and is affiliated with National Public Radio, so their news has a liberal slant to it, but it's still worthwhile listening to because it is more indepth than the news you typically get over the radio. Being purely audio, it also has less of the distracting slickness and special effects of TV news. You can concentrate on the information rather than the flashy visuals, which is a help to a simpleton like me who has a hard time listening and viewing at the same time (not to mention trying to pull on my socks).

Anyway, they cut away periodically from NPR so a staff member can read some local news. Recently I was struck by a clever phrase used in one of the stories (I forget what about) and thought it was an example of good newswriting.

About a half-hour later I was reading the Springfield Republican when lo and behold I came across the exact same phrase in a news article. In fact, I recognized several sentences! It suddenly dawned on me that the person reading the local news on WFCR was not as clever a newswriter as I had thought. What they were actually doing was creating a news story by reading a couple of paragraphs verbatim from an article in the Springfield paper!

The media in some ways is like a hall of mirrors in a funhouse, the kind where the mirrors are arranged at such an angle that you see the same image reflected over and over again into infinity. To an extent beyond what most people realize, any one media outlet is most likely to present what the other media outlets are reporting; not necessarily in the exact copycat manner I uncovered at WFCR, but pretty darn close.

For example I recently wrote here that I read at least three newspapers a day, prompting a few people to comment that they couldn't imagine where I found the time to read three papers. I informed them that because of copycat reporting, it actually takes little more time to read three papers than to read one, because many of the same articles appear in all three papers. Most papers get some of their content from the Associated Press and other syndicated news outlets, meaning that the same articles will appear word for word in each one. So once I've read one mainstream paper all the way thru, I've also read more than half of every other paper I pick up. Therefore all I have to do is skim for the articles unique to that particular paper that I haven't read in the previous ones. It's sometimes amazing how few articles that turns out to be.

Dan Yorke used to joke that the local TV stations have a fifty-cent a day investigative journalism budget - the price of a subscription to the Springfield Newspapers! He was exaggerating of course, but the fact is a lot of what we see on local TV news seems to be stories that appeared first in the local newspaper, after which apparently a camera crew was sent out to make a video version of what the newspaper published. Personally I don't think the public interest is well served by the echo chamber the news media has become on all levels.

What is the cause of this phenomenon? For one thing the news media in general is becoming increasingly competitive from a purely financial perspective. The truth is the primary purpose of the media is not to altruistically inform the public (however their promotional ads may suggest otherwise). The purpose of a newspaper, TV or radio station is to present content that will attract an audience that can then be shown the advertising which their customers have paid for. The bigger the audience, the higher the price the media outlet can sell the ads for. Therefore there is a cutthroat struggle to offer whatever will attract the largest audience at the cheapest price, in order to create the biggest profit margin.

Current events coverage is increasingly the victim of this process. The audience for news is shrinking, in part because the politicized, bureaucratized and dumbed down public schools in this country are no longer producing a reading public. But whatever it is that has caused the single most ironic paradox of our time - that the most technologically advanced society in human history has a rising rate of illiteracy - it results in less and less of an interest in newspapers or the broadcasting of current events. Among those who are still reading, obviously the internet offers many more choices of how to aquire information about current events, and increasingly the internet is the only place where you can get truly indepth news.

The result is shrinking budgets for traditional newsrooms, requiring an increasing attempt to get stories on the cheap, and fewer resources to do the purely independent reporting that provides the variety of information and insights needed for an informed democracy. What we too often get instead is a homogenized blend of the same stories geared to the lowest common denominator. The goal becomes to try and print or broadcast those things that everyone is interested in, which has meant shallow news (with a heavy emphasis on violence and celebrity) weather (now expanded to take up almost a third of all newscasts) and sports (again with an emphasis on violence and celebrity). Some may feel intellectually starved by this diet, but they are too few in number to justify catering to them.

Fortunately, coming to the rescue may be the internet, with the realization of the concept of "holographic coverage." A hologram is a kind of 3D image that is created by a wide range of images coming from different directions that together combine to create an image that can seen from all sides. The media equivalent of that would be events covered from a wide range of perspectives that combine to present a more realistic and complete account of what really happened.

And from where would come this multi-faceted account? In many cases it would be the actual participants and witnesses of the event itself. Suppose there was a big concert at the Springfield Civic Center attended by 8,000 people. Now suppose that hundreds, or even thousands of people in the audience describe how they experienced the show? The result would be that the show would be described, photographed and recorded from many different perspectives, forming a kind of informational hologram of the show. That way anyone who is interested in that event can explore it to whatever depth they are willing to delve into the number of facts, observations and opinions offered by the participants. That would no doubt also be followed by another wave of thoughts and observations stimulatd by the original commentary by those who were not participants but who have thoughts and opinions based on the original reports. It would be the same hall of mirrors effect we have today, but with many more opinions and over a much wider range.



The army of self-appointed observers are already beginning to form. I read recently that 25% of all children under 15 in the United States today have blogs or websites. In other words a whole generation of people are coming along where large numbers are already routinely describing the events that occur in their lives and what they think about those events. Many are also taking pictures and putting those up too. Fast forward twenty years and you've got a whole new kind of media, holographic in its completeness, with a combined level of insight and detail that not even the most sophisticated news organizations today could match.

This will likely result in more information being generated about any given news event than any one person would care to know. But that's okay. Better too much information than today's problem of too little.

This student partyhouse at 33 Fearing Street in Amherst shows its school pride.



In front of the Amherst Starbuck's this afternoon they were giving out free samples of their baked goods served in paper cups. I had a delicious cup of homemade banana bread!



Some of you have been emailing me with questions about how my lost brother John is doing these days after having battled back from a near fatal attack of cancer. Here's an excerpt from a recent email:



John had a PET scan in April which came out 100% clean -- lymphoma is still in complete remission. He had his first Rituxan infusion the next week -- he will have that every 3 months to help maintain the remission. He has been getting stronger and stronger -- the end of June will be the six month mark for his transplant. At that point, most of the restrictions on his activities will be taken off. He is working almost full time -- still gets a bit tired though. His taste buds have returned and he is eating well. He's gained back about 10 pounds of the 30 he lost. We have taken several car trips during the last month -- driving is one thing he can do right now. We love to go towards Lake Tahoe, Virginia City, and Reno. There's usually a festival of some kind going on and we can enjoy the nice weather and watch the activities.

We are happy about summer coming up. We will finish this school year on June 6. We have plans to travel to Massachusetts, Idaho, and Wyoming. We do so appreciate all of your kindness and prayers. God is good and we are certainly thankful for His blessings.

Love,
Connie & John

So after that happy report, I leave you with a tasty serving of Hot Fuckin Tuna.



A teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The class does its best to stifle their laughter.

The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, then I guess you'll just have to write the exam with your other hand."

Back in Amherst

I'm not calling it a relapse.

This image of Miss Emily Dickinson is in downtown Amherst.



This image of Robert Frost is on the same wall.



This is how it went down. I was at a party in Amherst where a lot of weed was being smoked and a drug lust came upon me like a fever and I partook of some. To make a long story short, that made it impossible to pass the periodic pisstests at the Northampton half-way house so I've moved in with an old fuckbuddy in Amherst. Not surprisingly, my celibacy vow has gone by the wayside as well.

This is not something terrible. I am not drinking or taking other drugs. I am smoking pot and having sex, but sex is a natural high and marijuana is the only drug that never bit me. Frankly, I'm tired of the addiction program lifestyle, with all its constant supervision, meetings and strict schedules. It's past time for me to start living like a normal person and I'm ready to do it. I don't want anybody to worry about me. I'm going to be fine.

A crowd gathered on the Amherst Common today to welcome me back. Oh well, okay, maybe it also had something to do with the first Saturday of the Farmer's Market.



Like the one in Northampton, it's mostly flowers and saplings now because it's too early to have harvested any crops. However, here's a product you don't see everyday that comes from way out in Sterling.



Gotta love those outer hilltowns, where the men are men and the sheep are scared.

Next to the Farmer's Market was a big tag sale to benefit the Amherst Regional High School Frisbee team. In Amherst Frisbee throwing is almost as big as football.



Here are some of the Frisbee team members who were there to greet the public.



Anyway, wish me luck on my latest adventures.

Choosing the Prez

Weak choices all around.

Is the presidential election over yet? No, in fact the presidential campaigning hasn't even formally begun yet because we don't know for sure who the candidates are. One of them is certain: The Republicans have chosen Vietnam war hero and U.S. Senator John McCain. However, the Democrats are trying to make him look like George Bush.



That's a strategy likely to fail because it doesn't move any numbers. Those who like Bush are already certain to vote for McCain, and those who don't had no intention of voting Republican anyways. The Democrats need a fresh approach to move Republicans, just as McCain needs the same to capture Democrats. This really is an election about the future, not the past.

All that remains for the Republicans to do is to choose who will run with McCain for Vice President. The name of former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney keeps coming up as someone who has proven that he can get even Massachusetts' famously liberal electorate to vote Republican. His weak point is that he comes across like a Ken doll.




The Democrats appear to be within striking distance of choosing controversial U.S. Senator Barack Obama as their nominees. However, former First Lady Hillary Clinton still thinks she can pull off a Harry Truman.



At first people had forgotten how sick and tired they were of the scandal-prone Clintons. Unfortunately for Hillary, this campaign has reminded them. By contrast, the supporters of Obama are trying to promote him as the second coming of John Fitzgerald Kennedy.



Actually, Obama is more like the second coming of Ted Kennedy - their voting records in the Senate are almost identical. But sadly it is Obama's race more than his liberalism that is likely to be the issue, as evidenced by the racist imagery floating all over the internet.



Of course there's always Ralph Nader, who has run so many times now that he's lost all credibility.



There's actually a fourth candidate, Libertarian Bob Barr, but he's so irrelevant I couldn't find a funny picture about him. In American politics if you can't even get ridiculed then you really are completely out of it. Still, I may vote for him just as an expression of general disgust.

The other day when I went to the Valley Advocate offices on Conz Street I had to pass this sex shop.



I've never been inside. Personally I'm not too hot on erotic toys - when I have sex I like it to be with something with a pulse.

Perhaps this is the bag the merchants should issue you when you go shopping in Springfield.





I was asking Paolo Mastrangelo (above) about what became of a film he made which he hoped might be the pilot for a reality TV show revolving around Northampton's Haymarket Cafe and featuring his eccentric friend Ian. We thought it had vanished but I managed to track it down in a video account Paolo has abandoned. Unfortunately it never became a TV show and Ian has since moved to Boston, but the pilot does capture a certain slice of life in downtown Northampton - and boy what a slice! It begins with Ian angrily defending moderninity against someone who cares only for art:



Finally, nothing can beat a well-crafted love song.

Dirty Deeds

Media games.

A bum loitering at the Quadrangle in 2004

Okay it's Thursday, so that must mean more blasts from the past. This week's history lesson is from the early days of the Ryan Administration, as it found itself under attack from the establishment mouthpieces at the Springfield Newspapers. This essay recounts some of the dirtiest political deeds ever committed by the local media, and provides lessons that are still valuable today as well as much that is of historic interest.

Up to Old Tricks

Originally published February 5th 2004

It was a case of deja-vu all over again this week when I saw how the Springfield Newspapers got nasty with Charlie Ryan. The cause of the flashback was an article that began:

"Two weeks after pledging higher standards of ethics and efficiency in city government, Mayor Charles V. Ryan turned over the troubled Office of Community Development to a political supporter who struggled with tax debts, labor complaints and allegations of mismanagement at his last job."

The reference was to Ryan's hiring of Juan Gerena as head of Community Development. Suddenly I was transported back to early 1996, when the then new Mayor Michael J. Albano had been in office for only about a month. He'd made a number of fresh hires for his new administration, and myself and local TV and radio personality Dan Yorke were complaining to each other that they were all political appointments of people with little or no qualifications. A bingo inspector (Gerry Phillips) as Police Commissioner? A person with no background in municipal law (Michael Kogut) as City Solicitor? Yorke and I wondered whether anyone else was noticing that cheap political paybacks and personal relationships were dominating the hiring process with virtually no attention being paid to the public interest.

Then one day we picked up the newspaper and much to our surprise and pleasure we saw that there was an article on the front page accusing Albano of relying too much on patronage in his new hires. It was an article blasting the new mayor for hiring people based on politics rather than on their qualifications. Yorke and I were surprised because we never expected the newspaper, which had endorsed Albano over Charlie Ryan in the 1995 election, to attack Albano in that way. We were delighted however because that was precisely what we had been complaining about and we were glad to see the local paper confirm our opinion.

Then something weird happened. A couple days after that article appeared, Yorke received a phone call from a woman who worked at the old Municipal Hospital on State Street, which at the time was owned and operated by the city (it has since been sold). She told Yorke that she had seen the piece about Albano hiring unqualified people, and that the article had inspired her to call the paper about what she saw as a blatant patronage hire at the hospital. She told Yorke that a member of Springfield's powerful Pellegrino family had been hired for a position at the hospital for which they had no known qualifications.

Yorke asked the hospital employee what she had said when she contacted the paper, since this was an excellent example of exactly the sort of hire the paper had attacked in their article. In fact it was more compelling than the examples they had used, since this involved a hospital position where incompetency can be a risk to patients and staff.

The woman informed Yorke that no one at the newspaper had expressed any interest in finding out any more about it. In fact, she felt that the newspaper was trying to discourage her from pursuing the issue, which is why in frustration she had called Dan Yorke. He asked her whether she would come on Yorke's WGGB-TV show the following night to make her case and she promised that she would. Therefore Yorke went on the radio and TV informing his listeners and viewers of what had transpired and informing his audience that the woman would be a guest on his TV show the following night.

She never made it. The next day the woman called Yorke and said she would not be appearing on his show but she would not explain why. Yorke pressed her for an explanation and asked her if anyone had put pressure on her not to appear. The woman became emotional and blurted out simply, "Please, Mr. Yorke, leave me alone," and hung up. That was the last Yorke ever heard from her.

It was also the last anyone ever heard of the Springfield Newspapers crusading against Albano patronage hires. Over the next eight years of the Albano administration there continued to be hires on a purely political basis and the paper never said a word in protest, despite the fact that some of those hires (like Kogut) had to be removed for incompetence or (like Phillips) were ultimately indicted for corruption and other charges.

The situation baffled Yorke and I, at least at first. Why had the newspaper made a front page story out of the low caliber of Albano's hires, only to drop the subject after just one day, never to raise it again? Why, when presented with a great story about a potentially dangerous hire in the city hospital, did they refuse even to interview the whistleblower?

It took awhile, but Yorke and I finally figured out what was going on. The reason the paper had no interest in the hospital employee's charges was because they had never had any genuine interest in complaining about patronage in the first place. Their article had absolutely nothing to with improving the quality of Albano's appointees. It had everything to do with power, and the raw exercising of it.

Yorke and I decided that the Springfield Newspaper's front-page anti-patronage article was actually a form of code, a hidden message to the new administration that if decoded into frank language would have read something like this:

"Hey Mikey, how do you like being mayor? It sure is fun having all your friends join you in City Hall, isn't it? Don't let that nasty article we wrote about the friends you hired fool you, we really don't care who you hire. We do care however that the issues that we are concerned about are favorably considered. We sincerely hope you won't be so foolish as to ignore our policy wishes, but we intend to give you a choice. The article we wrote today can be the last article we ever write that way, or it can be one of many, one right after another, right up to the day you are thrown out after only one term. The next time you are tempted not to do things the way we want them done, remember that we can do more articles of this kind anytime we want."

Also aiding us in this new understanding of the paper's scam, was that someone made us aware of another article that had appeared in the paper some years earlier, shortly after the election to Congress of Richard Neal. In that article the newspaper reported on what they claimed were rampant rumors sweeping the Valley that Neal had gotten a woman pregnant who was not his wife, and furthermore that he had paid to get her an abortion. I have seen a clipping of this Springfield Newspaper article with my own eyes, and there was no question of its authenticity. Whether there was any truth to the rumors regarding Neal the article referred to is unknown, as there were no follow-up articles and in fact the rumors were never mentioned by the paper again.

In light of the Albano article it was easy to put this earlier attack on Neal in perspective. These kinds of threatening, highly negative articles are an old trick of the newspaper, a way to demonstrate its power to those newly elected who may not fully appreciate what the paper can do; a way of disciplining those who might be tempted to govern in a way contrary to their wishes.

Now flash forward to February of 2004. Charlie Ryan has been in office for a month, and has delighted everyone by the almost ruthless manner in which he has fired or forced into early retirement some of the most notorious deadbeats in City Hall, people like Joe Dougherty, Brian Santaniello, Tom Haberlin and Raeann Altro. In fact Charlie appears to be oblivious to any of the sacred cows and privileged insiders he would normally be supposed to be catering to by the standards of Springfield's traditional political machine. No doubt other Grand Poobahs and Payroll Patriots of the Old Regime will also be shown the door as the Ryan Administration evolves.

Certainly Ryan does not appear to be worried about what the media thinks of his actions. In fact the only concern I've heard about media coverage from the Ryanites was from a woman who approached me thinking that I was Tom Vannah, editor of The Valley Advocate. It was not the first time that someone has made that mistake of identity, it usually happens with older people who don't go online. They hear my name and are aware that a Tom something or other writes for the Advocate, so they conclude I am he. Of course the prankster in me likes to take full advantage of such situations.

The woman asked me in a tone of accusing indignation, "And so when is the Advocate going to turn on the Ryan Administration just like you did to Albano?" Actually the Advocate didn't "turn" on Albano, they had opposed him from day one, but I let that slide. Instead I asked her if she knew that Charlie had eleven kids. "Of course," she replied. I then told her that next week the Advocate was publishing an article by Maureen Turner revealing that Charlie Ryan was the father of a dozen additional children by five mistresses. The woman wobbled away in a state of shock. After all, she had heard it from Tom Vannah himself!

Let's be frank. The placing of Juan Gerena as head of Community Development is a political hire, and people need to understand that at least a few such hires are necessary in every administration. Yes, Gerena doesn't have an impressive resume, but people like Tom Haberlin and former School Superintendent Peter Negroni had resumes to knock your eyes out and were both an unmitigated disaster. Charlie is giving Mr. Gerena a chance to prove himself. Charlie has zero tolerance for public servants who fail to perform. Should Mr. Gerena prove himself unequal to his duties, he will be fired out the door so fast his head will spin. In the meantime let's trust Charlie's judgement and give Genera a chance.



The Ryan Administration continues its noble work of separating the Albano Administration's friends, relatives, hacks, holdovers and coatholders from their public paychecks. Among those shoved out the door recently were two of City Hall's most notorious drama queens, Rae Altro and Corinne Rock. Also dumped was Miguel Rivas, a politically ambitious Albanoite who will now have to pursue his political goals without the advantage of a City Hall powerbase. What was most interesting about the thirty hour a week job Rivas had at City Hall was its salary of over $45,000 dollars a year! Great pay for part-time work if you can get it!

The firing of Ms. Altro has special ramifications, if one is to believe what has been said about her in the public record. According to courtroom testimony by her ex-husband, Glenn Altro, the former Mrs. Altro (salary: over $77,000) had a long running romantic affair with Albano's former chief of staff Anthony Ardolino. Ms. Altro's former husband became so enraged by this affair that he slashed the tires of not only Ardolino, but for good measure the tires of the Mayor himself. That is why he was in court.

What has also entered the public record is that Glenn Altro, a former city employee and a member of Albano's innermost circle of friends and advisors, has turned state's evidence in the long running Springfield corruption probe. He's singing like a bird about everything that went on behind closed doors in the Albano Administration. Rumors persist however that Altro's testimony has been of little value to investigators, because there are no corroborating witnesses to back up what he has revealed. His ex-wife has been dragged before the Grand Jury in an attempt to verify some of her husband's charges, but it is said that she has not been helpful. Considering that at the time she held a $77,000 dollar job in the administration of her lover Ardolino, who was caught on a wiretap telling another unhelpful witness that they were a "hero" for not testifying, perhaps her alleged reluctance to share all that she may know was understandable.

However, now that Charlie has bounced her from her fat job in City Hall, she may feel differently. Oh poor Rae, the big paycheck is gone but the soap opera just plays on and on.





FISHIN POEM
From a Journal entry dated August 23rd 2000

I'm off to terrorize some fish
lazy days
floating around in my boat
SUNSHINE DAYDREAM
caught a nice bass out of the Connecticut
went downriver so far it was like a scene from Apocalypse Now
big old mossy trees
otherworldly mist on the water at dawn
caught a big green turtle in my net
was a bitch getting him out
a water moccasin went by
poisonous ain't they?
is it dangerous to be so deep in the wilderness alone?
I could drown and no one would find me
went down to the Connecticut River nightfishing
got a secret spot that requires a death defying leap to get to
one night years ago Jay Libardi's wife was out in a rage
with baby Jason and huntin' him down along the river's edge
and we saw her coming at us with the baby in her arms
cussin' like a trucker
How the fuck do you expect me to stay home blah blah blah
and her heading right towards the spot where you have to jump
except she don't see it cuz it's dark and we yell
LOOKOUTLOOKOUTLOOKOUT
but she's deaf with rage and so Jay has to jump
across the void
and knock her backwards just as she reaches the edge
and so he saves her life and his infant son
but she is so ungrateful and drags him home by the ear
I smiled while I remembered this
but sad to think of Jay in St. Michaels
I kept hearing wild laughter coming from somewhere up river
can't tell how far off
sound travels far over the water
probably just stewbums on Thunderbird
the only ones besides me who would be on the river at three a.m.
the old fishermen say the ghosts of Indians haunt these banks
good thing I don't believe in ghosts
caught a nasty river eel and had to cut the line
wasn't worth the gross-out to save the lure
too bad, it was the same lucky one that caught the bass earlier
sometimes you catch the bass
sometimes you catch the eel
now ain't life a little like that?
it was a bitch trying to thread a new hook in the inky dark
didn't bring a lantern
draws the wrong kind of attention
took Sara and CJ to fish
with their brand new TAZMANIAN DEVIL kiddie fishing poles
had to run around so much putting worms on their hooks
and untangling bird's nests
that I never did put my own pole in the water
kids hated to see me pinch the worms in half
(the bait wouldn't have lasted twenty minutes otherwise
with their wild casts that knock the worm free)
it IS repulsive to see the half you put back in the cup
writhing with agony
CJ said it must suck to be a worm.
Sara christened her new pole by catching a baby punkinseed
her shreik of delight was worth the whole afternoon of aggravation
the poor little punkinseed swallowed the hook
so far down I couldn't get it free
without ripping the fish's throat out
EWWWWWW cried Sara and CJ
Sorry kids, I said, just add that to your collection of traumas.